Hectic poem

I discovered yesterday that Asher now has three teeth!  He is crawling and climbing everywhere.  Wherever he is, he wants to be somewhere else.  He wants to walk so badly!  He will go through these yoga-like poses where he'll get on his hands and feet, then lift a hand into the air.  I was surprised a couple mornings ago to find him standing in his crib when I went in there to get him.  Now he does that every morning.

Our days are so hectic, I thought I'd write a poem about them...
Hectic mornings warming milk
Grumpiness I try to bilk
Binkies, blankets, sippy cup
Burp cloth covered with spit up

Poopy diaper, dirty bib
Babbles coming from the crib
Get them dressed from head to toe
Load the car and off we go

Cooking meals and serving dinner
Hit or miss which one's a winner
Flinging food and apple juice
On my floor make a slippery sluice

Playtime, snuggles, bubble baths
Man and wife just crossing paths
Stories, bedtime, brushing teeth
Eight p.m. sure brings relief

Midnight diaper changes galore
Please end soon, I do implore
Wake up early, start again
Where do I even begin

Can't drink coffee because caffeine
Will wire baby and ruin routine
Each day starts off so bleary eyed
Was it just last night I sat and cried?

So tired that I can't think straight
I don't realize until too late
The first of today's many mistakes
I just poured orange juice on my corn flakes

November 8, 2007

It's already Thursday.  How do some weeks pass by so quickly, and others go so slowly when each has the same number of hours?  I'm fighting a cold, hard.  I think I feel better than I did yesterday... it's such a tiny bit better, if is indeed better, that I still feel like crap.

We are all anxiously awaiting Leone's visit on Saturday.  She hasn't seen Avery since she was Asher's age, and has never met Asher.  I don't work on Monday, so will have that day off to spend with her and everyone.  I was looking forward to a ME day... and I might still be able to do something fun... but I have to make room for the possibility it won't happen.

Jamie is taking Donald today to sign up for the Job Corp.  I'm so thankful Donald reconsidered.  I think it's going to be the ONE thing that changes the direction of his life for the better.  That, and he'll be out of the house.. which is something I think ALL of us want at this point.  This morning was typical.  We all woke up early and Jamie and I did a dance for about 30  minutes which includes washing and filling bottles and breastpump, packing up kids' bags, my gym bag, my lunch, getting the kids changed, dressed and fed and getting everything gathered (shoes, blankets, binkies, jackets...) and packed up in the car by 7.  Donny just stands there watching all the havoc he created by getting kicked off the school bus, and all I can imagine is him sitting there with all this control enjoying it.  I have to try really hard not to let it bother me because otherwise it could really start my day off poorly.

Still no sure thing on my job.  I am having to work to get this grant proposal written by 30 November.  My job here depends on not only getting it submitted, but getting it funded.  I have no idea how to go about doing that, and it freaks me out.  I have an application in at Westminster and heard yesterday that I made the first cut, and may be invited for an interview.  I also talked to Joe yesterday about the possibility of my working for the Regional office.  That is the job I'd like.  I would be doing something entirely different than what I am doing now, have a permanent position (finally) and be getting paid more.  With these three irons in the fire, I have to think that by the time my contract here runs out in March that I'll be employed SOMEwhere.

The kids... what are they up to?  Well, yesterday I walked into the living room to find Asher standing up along the fireplace.  Little turkey pulled himself up- only a couple weeks after beginning to crawl.  The past few days have been hard for me because he seems to want to go to bed by 6 or so, and get up at 630, which leaves me little to no time with him outside of daycare.  Avery gets up earlier and stays up later, so I do get time with her.

I had a funny conversation with Avery today.  Funny, in and of itself, that I had a conversation... but it went something like this:
Me (to Asher): Hello pumpkin!
Avery: No, Avery puntin.
Me: Avery's my pumpkin?
Avery: dah
Me: Asher's not my pumpkin?
Avery: No, Avery puntin.
Me: Is Asher my muffin?
Avery: uuuuummmmmm, no.  Daddy.
Me: Daddy's my muffin?
Avery: dah
Me: What is Asher?
Avery: puntin
Me:  Is Asher my pumpkin too?
Avery: dah

What a hoot!  I can't believe how much she's talking and how well I usually can understand her.  It's hard to believe that Asher will be following her soon.  His babyhood is flying by much faster than Avery's seemed to.

November 2, 2007

It's Friday and I'm on the verge of another weekend.  I love weekends.  I get to spend time with my family, whom I miss terribly while I sit in my office all week long.

Just a few months ago I didn't like weekends much at all.  Asher was still little enough so that he was crying ALL the time.  Avery wasn't adjusting well to having a new baby in the house and her whining and crying was incessant.   They are older now. Avery isn't so upset with Asher, and is being nicer to him.  Asher is older, and a happier baby.

It's crazy how quickly things change.  Watching these kids develop has been the joy of my entire life.  Asher started crawling this week.  I swear it's to get away from Avery's clutches... but whatever the reason he seems so pleased with himself that he can get around after weeks of rocking back and forth on his heels, frustrated that he couldn't reach whatever toy was in front of him.

Avery talks more and more every day.  Even sentences like "no, I don't want that" which should irritate me based on their content fascinate me because she's learned to string FIVE words together.  She started singing this week.  I realized a few weeks ago that she wasn't singing along with me when I was singing If You're Happy and You Know It... it had never occurred to me that singing was a developmental milestone.  Sure enough, this week I was singing the ABC song and I heard her little voice hold a note or two in a row while she was dancing around.

Halloween was this week.  I made Avery a tutu, which was supposed to be a bunny costume but since I couldn't find her ears that night I put a tiara on her head and called her a princess.  Asher was a little ducky, but had a cold so he stayed in with me and we passed out candy.  Jamie got a fire call that evening, so I was alone with the kids to feed them, change them into costumes, and pass out candy.  Donny was pretty helpful, and ended up taking Avery trick or treating which was nice.  After all the crap he has put us through in the past couple months, I suppose it is the least he can do.

Wow, a year has gone by

My friend Melanie has been trying to get me to start posting again.  Finally, I've decided to do it.  The past year has brought a lot of commotion around the Lehman house.  Since I last posted we have gotten married and had another baby!

Our little boy was born on 23 March.  I'm so glad I have a little boy.  I loved Avery so much that I wanted another baby girl just like her.  My little boy rocks!! 

Poor Asher, I have so many of things documented for Avery... I need to start keeping track of things for him! 

Asher is going to be five months old soon.  He weighs nearly 20 pounds, and is so much bigger than Avery ever was!  He is just starting to reach for things and grab them.  Mostly he brings them to his mouth.  To be honest, I am having a hard time not comparing Asher with Avery.  She was so advanced with everything she did, and Asher just isn't.  I worry about him and really want him to be okay.  I am sure he will... but I hate the worrying.

On a positive note, we got a little bit of video last night of him laughing at Avery at the dinner table.  That was fun!  He is starting to sit up a little bit and is sleeping through the night most nights.  I'm still exclusively breastfeeding him, and am going to wait til he's 6 months old to start feeding him solids.  Lord knows I don't need this child to get any bigger than he is.

I feel a connection with Asher that I don't remember having with Avery.  I don't love him any more, but it's a lot different.  I feel like he's more LIKE I am.  He seems easily agitated, but once he is settled he is very content.  I think he looks a bit more like me than Avery does (not hard, since Avery is a Jamie-clone). 

I am having a hard time with Asher in daycare.  I don't feel as badly about Avery as I used to, because now she is in a place and is learning and playing with other kids.  Jamie got me a little digital frame that flashes pictures up every 30 seconds and I spend all day looking at the both of them and can't believe how blessed I've become.

There's a whole bunch of things that have gone on over the past year.  It would take me all day to write them down.  But, I expect if  I continue to keep writing it'll all come out eventually

Asher Skye is born

It was Friday afternoon, and I was wrapping up things in my office just in case I went into labor over the weekend.  I was to be induced on Tuesday, but was hoping something would happen before then on its own.  I was going to go home early but kept getting last minute things to do and ended up leaving at my regular time.  I stood up to go to the bathroom one last time and felt a small gush.  It didn’t feel normal, but it wasn’t enough to seem like my water had broken.  I went into the bathroom and found that I’d started bleeding bright red blood. 

I tried to stay calm, phoned Jamie and told him I was going to the hospital right from there.  He met me there, and the doctor decided that things weren’t very serious, but I wasn’t going to leave the hospital without a baby.  Jamie went and picked up Avery and took him to the neighbors’ and came back.

When I checked in around 4 pm, I was almost 4 cm dilated and fully effaced, so I was getting pretty ready on my own.  At 6 the doctor broke my water and my contractions started to get a bit more regular and stronger.  When they became really painful at around 8 I got an epidural, and then they gave me a ‘whiff’ of pitocin to move things along.  I was at about 6 cm at that time, and got stuck there for a while.  Every time I heard the epidural pump go off to give me a dose of the medicine I felt a wave of nausea.  I was getting really uncomfortable because they wouldn’t let me sit up a bit because my blood pressure was low.  The nurse tried to empty my bladder to give the baby room to move down, but when she tried to put the catheter in the baby’s head was in the way.  So… the baby wasn’t moving because my bladder was full, and my bladder couldn’t be emptied because the baby wasn’t moving.  Interesting.  :P 

Finally things gave way and once my bladder was empty I started dilating pretty quickly.  I was concerned because the epidural hadn’t completely numbed me, especially my perineum.  I mean, what’s the sense of getting an epidural if it didn’t work, right?  So, they gave me a bit more of the medicine.  I got even more nauseous and noticed my blood pressure was something like 58/36.  I was getting sicker and sicker, and finally started throwing up.  Soon after that I woke up on my side with three nurses and a doctor standing around me waiting for me to come around.  I had passed out!  Freaky! 

After giving me some medicine to make my blood pressure go up, and another couple liters of IV fluid I had completely dilated and was ready to push.  I pushed through two contractions and the nurse told another nurse to go get the doctor because baby was ready to come out.  He had gone next door and suited up there because someone else was pushing there.  The doctor came in and kept telling me not to push because baby was ‘right there.’  I felt a lot of pressure, but no pain, which was actually kind of cool because with Avery I didn’t feel anything at all.  On the fourth contraction I pushed and little Asher was born.  Well, at 8 lbs 8 oz and 21 inches, he was hardly little for a newborn.  My first words to him were ‘hey little dude,’ which is when I asked the nurse if he was, indeed, a boy.  Jamie cut the cord and they went and cleaned him up a bit.  I got one stitch and after that the doctor looked at the placenta and determined that it had pulled away a bit, which was causing the bleeding earlier. 

Soon thereafter all the nurses and the doctor left and it was just Jamie and myself in the room with Asher.  After half an hour I tried to nurse him and he picked it up really well.  He wasn’t very hungry, but he did eat a little before falling asleep.  Jamie and I kept wondering where everyone went.  When Avery was born the nurse stayed with us and showed us how to bathe her and made sure he was nursing.  This time we were alone for over an hour before anyone came to check on us.  It was almost as if Asher wasn’t as big a deal as Avery had been, and I felt sad for him.

We went into our recovery room, and Jamie went home to be with Avery.  It was just me and Asher.  I looked at his little face, all bruised from coming into the world a bit too quickly, and cried.  What did I do to deserve for this little soul to be mine?  Asher Skye is indeed a big deal… he is my big deal and I can already not imagine my life without him.